Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
