you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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