dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
