i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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