I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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