the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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