Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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