she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
