I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
