New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
