two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
