Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
