Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
