East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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