I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize