I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
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She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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