My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
