3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
