I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
