I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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