Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
