You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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