sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I will die if light touches me.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
