I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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