I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
whose parrot is this?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
