i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
