i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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