he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Can I color on your dick again?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
