I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
