yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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