I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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