she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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