she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
