well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
