It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
