he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
