Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
