I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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