The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
