"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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