you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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