Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
