He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He kissed a someone with a penis
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
