I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize