His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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