His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
