oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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