i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
