I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
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I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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