So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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