Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize