so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
