She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Two words: nipple clamps
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