maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
