i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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