ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
