3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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