I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize