i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i've created a new STD.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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