You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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