Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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