Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
