I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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