There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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