how can u be prego again
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
