Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
